


Calico

by Souliebird



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Aromantic, Asexuality, Gen, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Platonic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 08:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4053160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souliebird/pseuds/Souliebird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because Hawke is not in love with Anders does not mean he does not love him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calico

**Author's Note:**

> So in my newest playthrough I found myself realizing my Hawke (Jaeit) would not romance anyone. All of the flirt options seemed so out of character for him, so I came to the conclusion he is an aromantic asexual. But he loves all of his companions very much, he is just not in love with them. So this idea of Anders accepting that fact came to mind.

It was an hour before sunrise when Darktown finally quieted and Anders found himself thinking he might actually be able to sleep. Sleeping was not something Anders was particularly good at; he was extremely sensitive to noises around him and his small clinic provided no drull background noise to help drown out all the other sounds. As Anders laid himself down onto his cot, he could hear no shouting or sounds of fighting from the other refugees and hoped he could get enough sleep to make his eyes no longer bleary and red. 

He had just begun to drift when he heard the door of his clinic creak open, followed by soft footsteps. He had extinguished the light that marked the entrance to his location hours before, and he knew the other inhabitants of the undercity were too scared to bother him if the lantern was not glowing. His mind jumped to the thought of the Templars; their midnight raids and the fact they had been frequenting the tunnels more and more over the previous weeks. His heart began to beat harder in his chest and Anders slowly reached for the staff by his bedside.

The footsteps stopped mere meters from him and Anders curled his fingers around the wood. With quickness he knew people did not expect of him, he swung himself around, the tip of his weapon glowing as he confronted who ever dared to enter his clinic without permission.

“You've made a grave- ...Hawke?” 

“Get that thing out of my face.” The man batted Ander's staff away, like it was not a hair's breadth away from unleashing a fireball into his face. 

Anders lowered the weapon, staring at Hawke as he did. The front of Hawke's armor was splashed with fresh blood, which filled Anders with a sense of dread. No one had followed Hawke into the clinic, which probably meant that that man had fought who ever he had alone. Anders did not like the thought of Hawke fighting alone. 

“Are you alright?” He couldn't help but ask, wanting to get up and inspect the man in front of him for wounds, but knowing that would not go over very well at all.

“Why wouldn't I be?” Hawke asked in return, his voice gruff and slightly annoyed. Anders took that as a good sign; his friend tended to be very direct when he was injured. 

“Well, you are covered in blood.” 

The broader man rolled his eyes. “You can't go anywhere in this city without three people trying to mug you around every other corner. Aveline's men are slacking again.” Hawke waved a dark hand, dismissing the topic. “I'm not here for you to heal me. I need you to take care of something for me.”

“The last time you said that,” Anders started, already turning to pull his cloak on. “A dragon almost ate me.” 

“It did not almost eat you.” Hawke scoffed.

“It did so. I was in its jaws. It was going to eat me.” 

“It was half your size and bit your leg. That hardly qualifies as 'almost eating you'.”

“That is not how Varric tells it.” Anders hummed, smiling at the thought of the dwarf's version of the adventure. Hawke rolled his eyes again and crossed his arms loosely over his chest. 

“Varric was not even there. I was. You were not almost eaten. Why are you getting dressed?” The man asked as Anders began to pull on his boots. 

“I'm not going to go traipsing around Kirkwall barefoot.” No, he would just go traipsing around the city when he was completely exhausted simply because Hawke had requested it. Anders could never say no to Hawke. Even if the request had technically been a demand, but Anders knew that it translated as a request in Hawke-speak. 

“No, that isn't what I meant. I need you to actually take care of something for me.” Anders paused in lacing up his boots to look up at Hawke. “My war hound,” Hawke mumbled somewhat sarcastically as he reached into his armor, “decided to go and get a maternal streak.” The dark man took two steps forward and produced a small, wet looking kitten from his inner pocket. He held the tiny creature up by the scruff of its neck and showed it to Anders. “He brought this thing home, but the brute is too big and far too clumsy. He kept stepping on it.” 

Anders held out his hands hesitantly and Hawke dropped the kitten onto his palms. Anders stared at the little thing with wide eyes. It was tiny, barely weaned from its mother. It was dirty, but he could see orange, black, and white fur under the muck it was covered in. It had a flat, smushed looking face, almost comically large green eyes, and ears that looked like they belonged on a bat and not a cat. It was not by any means an adorable kitten. 

Anders loved it instantly. 

“So you brought it to me instead?” 

Hawke shrugged and moved to sit next to Anders on the cot. He reached out and ran a finger behind the little animal's overly large ear. The kitten leaned into the touch, then started to purr as it closed its eyes in content. 

“You mentioned wanting a cat more than once. It's not a tabby, though. I don't think. I don't actually know what a tabby is.”

Anders tore his eyes away from the kitten to glance at Hawke. He had mentioned wanting a tabby once, what felt like ages ago. He remembered the conversation, as it had been one of his first civil ones with the blood magic using elf, and he hadn't even been aware Hawke had been listening to them. He should have known better. Hawke was always listening, always storing information away for later use. Hawke was always hyper aware of everything going on around him. It was one of the things that made him a phenomenal fighter and was one of the traits that made Anders love Hawke . It had also made Anders angry with him for a long time. 

Hawke was extremely observant, but had been oblivious to Anders' affections. The first few years of their friendship had been a confusing and upsetting time for the mage. He had all but completely confessed his feelings for Hawke, short of saying 'I love you', but he could never tell how Hawke had felt about him. Sometimes the man would casually flirt, a comment about Ander's appearance or a quip about his attire, and other times he would say things, with such passion and emotion and meaning behind them, that Anders would think 'surely he must love me as I love him.'

But Hawke never acted on it. No longing looks or lingering touches, and Anders began to think maybe Hawke just wasn't attracted to men. Though, if he had thought on it at the time, Hawke showed no attraction to any sex. He had brought the topic up to Isabela one night after too many drinks and she had laughed at him so hard she almost fell out of her chair. 

“He's not the type for any of that.” The pirate had gasped out after she had finally stopped laughing at him.

“The type for what?” 

“Romance. Sex. Any of it. It's not for him. He can look right at a desire demon's tits and not bat an eye lash. It happens sometimes, you know. Some people like girls, some like guys, some smarter people like both, and some just like no one. Hawke is a no one type of person.” She had grabbed her drink and taken a long swig while Anders had frowned at the table. “It doesn't mean he doesn't love you.” 

It took Anders a while to realize what she had meant. 

Hawke was not in love with him, and he never would be. He would never desire Anders like Anders desired him. 

Anders now understood that was okay because Hawke loved him, just not in the way Anders had been expecting. 

Anders had been waiting for a grand gesture; a kiss, a declaration, something that would show the world Hawke was in love with him. He had gotten so caught up with wanting that, he had missed all the ways Hawke had quietly showed him he cared deeply about Anders.

Hawke's love was shown by throwing himself between an enemy and Anders, taking the full brunt of an attack so the mage wouldn't be hurt. Hawke's love was Bodahn showing up with a pot of soup, claiming that Orana had made way too much food and it would be a waste to just let it go bad, even though the dwarf should not know where Anders lived. Hawke's love was Anders coming back to his clinic to find the man sealing up any areas that might leak with planks of wood before a storm hit. 

Hawke's love was a tiny dirty kitten, whose purring was drowning out the silence of Darktown. 

“A tabby is a type of colouring for a cat. This isn't tabby. I think its a calico.” Anders finally said, turning his eyes back to the kitten. He watched as Hawke gave the creature one last scratch before moving to stand up. The little animal blinked open its eyes, then turned its attention up to Anders, opening its jaws and giving a tiny, pathetic, barely there mew. 

“But it's perfect. More than I could ever have hoped for.” Hawke gave a curt nod, satisfied with that answer, then took a few steps towards the door.

“Hawke, wait, I..” The man paused, half turning to look back at Anders. “Thank you.” _I love you._

“Just..don't let anyone try and eat it.” _I love you, too._


End file.
